She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
