can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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