O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
