I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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