Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
