Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
