guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
then he tried to convert me to islam
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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