you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
