Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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