You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
