Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
