we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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