I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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