they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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