Buhtt sex?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
