Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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