Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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