When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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