he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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