I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
