Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
True college students do jello shots in the library
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