Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
