I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
