one might say we're banned from that church
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
