Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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