I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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