oh god the rape fog is back!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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