Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
