literally had 100 drinks last night.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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