so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
