so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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