I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
