ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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