I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
