i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
