I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
