it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
