i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
