Is it because I queefed?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
