You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
