Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
