i barfeds in our rink
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
