No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
