he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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