Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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