Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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