guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I showed him my bush... on skype.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Every concussion has its silver lining
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
