One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
