Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
