I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
