I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
