no. you can't hotbox the world.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
OPIZZABONMYDICK
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
