At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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